No, it's not me....

Despite what you all might be thinking...this is NOT me....

I would never stalk the man.

I'd hire a look-a-like stalker to do it for me. :) :)

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7006585203

Sore Thumbs, Fast Glitz

Finally got to watch the pre-Oscar red carpet show on tape last night. I was right -- my thumbs are actually sore this morning from holding down the fast forward button. It was a fairly ho-hum affair, despite all the glitz. Glad I could buzz through a 2-hour show in 35 minutes.

I didn't LOVE anyone's dress. And some I really liked, but only in bits and parts. Here are the ones I found favor with ultimately:

Penelope -- while I don't generally like poof on a dress, this actually worked pretty well. I would have guessed Dior, but it was actually Versace (congrats to Donatella....usually her stuff is loud and rad, but not this time). I thought Penelope's hair was a bit severe. She is always so lovely with loose tendrils around her face rather than pulled back tightly. But it all worked in the end.

Reese - She has just taken on a whole new look since her marriage broke up. Good for her! She used to border on dowdy, former sorority girl, almost Loretta Lynn-goes-mod styling. Now she's sleek and chic! Hope Ryan is eating his little cheating heart out!

Gwyneth - While I never get the to-do over this woman, this was the best she has ever looked. The dress was polarizing - you liked it or hated it. I liked it. It was different, and I think it worked on her. Odd color, sort of like a 3-day old salmon in the fridge, but she pulled it off.

Cate - Blanchett strikes again. Lovely. Not many people could pull off that sleek metallic. She either has a rock-hard bod or was wearing layers and layers of Spanx underneath. Either way, it worked.

Nicole - I mostly liked this dress, but that bow really bothered me. She looked like a big, tall Christmas gift from the neck up. From the neck down, she was lovely. Not many people could pull that dress off. It was rather red, like a sports car, a Ferrari red. Perhaps a bit loud, but you couldn't miss her on the carpet.

Dame Helen: Impeccable! She put the 20-somethings to shame.


Particularly bad:

J-Lo -- I just didn't get this. She looked like a reject from a bad 1950s movie about ancient Rome. And her worst accessory is that Marc Anthony guy. She needs to lose him. Her choice in men is horrid. What a waste to be a woman with youth, beauty, money and power in Hollywood and then waste it all on loser guys. A real shame.

I was extremely glad to see that my man Daniel was named Best Dressed by Esquire magazine, and he also got his props on Joan & Melissa's Oscar Fashion Wrap last night. Dressed or undressed, he's hot!

Here's hoping the ladies immediately whisked themselves off after the show to the In & Out Burger for a much deserved cheeseburger and curly fries. Looks like that's what Dame Helen did! She so rocks!

A Total Snoozer....zzzzzzz...

As anticipated, I had company yesterday which prevented me from watching most of the red carpet pre-Oscar glam. I do, however, have it all on tape and will be watching it when I find some time. But if the actual show is any indication of the level of excitement on the red carpet, I can see I'll be over-working the fast forward button on it.

Company left about the time the actual show started. Looking back, if only they'd reversed order and come for dinner at midnight, it may have spared me the pain of sitting through that awful production. What an absolute snoozer that thing was! Far worse than usual, and I didn't think that was possible.

The only bright spot (for me) was first out -- gorgeous Daniel Craig (along with Nicole Kidman) presented the first award, Art Direction. Looking dashing as usual in his tux, Daniel oozed charm all over the stage. Unfortunately, that was the charm quota for the evening, and it was all downhill from there. (By the way, I'll have to go back and find Daniel arriving on the red carpet so I can adequately criticize his tranny girlfriend, over and over and over again. :) )

After Mr. Craig, it was all over. Snooze city. Literally. I looked over 30 minutes into it, and my husband was asleep on the sofa. Now and then he opened his eyes to see if he was missing anything. He surely was not. If only he'd had more eyes to close, I would have recommended it.

I was surprised that Ellen was so dull. She is generally one of my favorites, and last night she disappointed. I will say, however, I'm not sure it was her fault. It seems like the material she had to work with was somehow confined. Glad they stayed away from the political bashing, but the content could have been edgier and more contemporary. I don't know what it is about the Oscars, but if someone has a God-given comedic talent, it will surely rob them of it. FOR 4 HOURS STRAIGHT. AARGH!!

And I can't even count the endlessly punishing montages that were shown, seemingly with no point at all. Last night was like a blur, only in painfully slow motion. By the end of the night, I lost my will to live.

What a stinker.

This Concept Keeps Playing in My Head

'Without gratitude, nothing positive in the universe can come to you.'

I've heard it 2 or 3 times this week from various sources, and I'm trying to really understand it and embrace it.

Even Osama Can't Take It Anymore

I've been up and about for almost 3 hours now, and so far, nary one 'Britney' nor 'Anna Nicole' has been uttered by anyone in my midst anywhere. Thank God. I just don't think I could take another day of either circus, and one would practically have to be hiding in a cave this week to avoid it.

I bet even Osama bin Laden is pulling his beard out and unravelling his turban over it this week. Enough already! Make it stop!

Queen of the Carpet

Being uncomfortably (almost) within viewing distance of that phase of life unaffectionately known as "middle aged" (aarghhh!!!), I am quite pleased at the fashion attention being paid of late to the great actress, Helen Mirren. Not only has she been recognized for looking quite fashionable as she's graced recent red carpets, she's also being described as "sexy" by many. Given her mature age (for an actress), I think that's a wonderful coup for her to pull off, and I salute her whole heartedly. You go, Helen. Knock 'em dead. Show those young, inexperienced harlets how it's done.

It really hit me the other day while out and about....a well-dressed "older" woman appeared on the scene, and my first take on her was that she looked quite fashionable and edgy. And then it occurred to me that she had that "Helen Mirren" look about her...and I thought, 'Oh, Helen....well-done! You're a real fashion icon now." You go, girl!

I am totally looking forward to seeing her on the Oscar red carpet this Sunday.

Happy New Year

It's Chinese new year 4705, and this is the Year of the Pig. Best of luck with your diet resolutions out there!

I just saw a report that said most people start their diets on Monday, and by Tuesday, 30% have already blown it. By Friday, it must be a distant memory.

Year of the Pig, indeed!

Mother Nature's Bling

Today was PERFECT. Mother Nature showing off -- sunshine, Caribbean blue sky, palm fronds stirring in a light tropical breeze, 75 degrees and gorgeous. It does not get better than this...anywhere.

In celebration, I jogged to the beach, had lunch out on the verandah, wore three different pairs of sandals.

By the end of the week, it may be warm enough to slip on a bikini and work on the tan a bit. Glorious, just glorious.

The Real Cause of Global Warming

Forget scientific crap. Here's what's really causing all this global warming:

http://www.justjared.com/2007/02/20/daniel-craig-shirtless/

Tabloid Round-Up

Recent and frequent out of control, over-the-top celebrity stories have prompted the following random thoughts and observations:

- How does it feel to be Britney Spears? Cold, I would imagine. What with no hair on either end now.....

- Bummer of the week award: Gisele Bundchen
- Runner up: Tom Brady
- Consolation prize: Bridget Moynihan

- This just in: Anna Nicole Smith is still dead. Film at 11. And every minute until then.

- Joining the Mile High Club with Ralph Fiennes? Ewwww..... That flight attendant should be ashamed of herself. Now if it had been Daniel Craig....YOU GO GIRL!!! :)

- It's officially standing room only in rehab now. With double and triple celebrity bookings, there's no room at the inn. Can't wait until the tickets go on sale for the All Star Rehab Reunion Tour, coming soon to an arena near you.

- Sylvester Stallone lives on all those performance-enhancing drugs and STILL looks like that? Ewwww....He should give some to Paul Abdul...if she isn't taking drugs, maybe she should....

.....pretty people behaving badly....for fun and profit....ah, the terrorists have won. :(

ONE degree of separation

Okay...this is an awesome story....

I have a friend in Florida who recently visited Ireland. During his trip, he struck up a conversation with a guy there over his watch - an Omega Seamaster. They had a lovely conversation, the guy was very friendly, and at the end of their discussion, he took off his watch and gave it to my friend as a gift. Wow. Really nice guy, huh.

And just who was this guy? MR. DANIEL CRAIG himself. (My friend had not seen 'Bond' and had no idea who he was until someone later told him. (can you imagine?) )

OOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGG! I am just DYING!

He's a real person, and to boot, he's a nice guy.

Now I wonder if I can talk Richard into selling me that watch. If not, maybe he'll at least let me gaze at it for a while, try it on, merely touch it.... :)

And I am now ONE PERSON AWAY from Daniel Craig, and closing in FAST!

People Wagging Their Tails

If you want to be the most popular person on your next flight, travel with a dog.

People who would otherwise brush by with a snarl on their face actually smile and strike up a warm conversation when they see a cute pooch popping his noggin' out of the carrier. It's amazing how different it makes the travel experience. Strangers suddenly become comrades, grumpy people light up, children squeal with delight. And Baci feels like a rock star. :)

Oops! She Did it Again

Again. On national television.

Last night, Sienna Miller was on David Letterman pumping her new movie that nobody is paying to see. Letterman brought up her "faux pas" on The Today Show the other day....even ran the video tape of her dropping the "F" word in a live broadcast. SM said she 'had just been informed of it', was very embarrassed and apologized to the 'American public'. (Gee, the rest of us were informed of it DAYS ago, so I'm SURE no one told her....)

And then, amazingly, in the middle of one of her 'stories', SHE DID IT AGAIN. Had to be bleeped right off of Letterman!

She's a classy gal, that one.

Time To Thaw Out

Happily, I am on a plane headed for warmer climates and ocean breezes on Thursday. Sandals, here I come! Happy Feet, indeed!

Just Say No

It's Valentines Day, and the TV is full of public marriage proposals with random couples professing their passion for each other.

Just once...just ONCE...when the guy gets down on his knee and pops the question in front of a cast of thousands, I want some cool chick to say, "NO." And "Not no, but HELL NO" would be grand!

That's what the guy gets for taking an intimate moment and turning it into a spectacle. He gets a very public NO!! There's your spectacle!

I guess this leaves me out of the "hopeless romantic" category.

Oscar goes Tivo?

Admittedly, this is a small dilemma but rapidly becoming a big one at my house.

I love the Oscars. Well, mostly I just love the pre-Oscar stuff....red carpet, fashion factoids, etc. The awards show itself can be a big yawn.

Every year, I look forward to it. I mark the date, make sure we don't book anything that night, etc. Sometimes I throw a little Oscar party with a few friends. If people can't get together, my husband and I will have fresh stone crabs, shrimp cocktails and a bottle of Chardonnay in front of the TV and enjoy the guilty pleasure together. It's an annual ritual.

And so was the plan this year.....UNTIL....my husband's brother called to tell us that he/his wife and another couple will be in town THAT DAY and plan to come spend THAT DAY and EVENING with us to visit.

Now I really want my husband to see his brother and all.....they probably get to visit once a year, since they live 1500 miles apart. But I have already been told by my husband that they are not Oscar watchers, so it would be rude of us to turn on the television and watch it during their visit.

I've asked my husband how long they plan to visit with us -- he says they'll show up around lunchtime, probably spend the day and into the early evening and then leave. And I'm thinking, well if they're going to be with us all day, what's the harm in inviting them to our little "Oscar party" and doing it anyway? But he says no, it would be rude, and we can just tape it and watch it later.

Aaargh!!!! We can tape it and watch it later, BUT IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME!! I told him it would be like watching the Super Bowl on tape after the game is over. IT JUST DOESN'T CUT IT!

So now what do I do?

I Confess

Okay...I admit it. I am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Well, why not? Apparently everyone else is. I was beginning to feel left out. :)

Tex and the City

After several years of living in the suburbs, my hubby and I are going urban. We're selling our big sprawling house on the prairie this spring and are moving into the city. Can't wait.

Here are some of the reasons why:

- Big, big yawn. We are way past bored out in the 'burbs. 2.5 kids and a suburban just doesn't do it for us, and people here think we're odd for that (I'm sure).

- Diversity. While our neighbors couldn't be nicer people...we find the lack of diversity here boring. It's like living in Stepford. The lawns are perfect; the houses are perfect; the cars are perfect. And we hardly ever see anyone out and about. It's like nobody lives here. Plus, it's mostly white, corporate/professional types, Bible belters. Nothing wrong with any of that, but we think it's just more interesting to mix it all up with people from different places, cultures and interests. Stimulates my brain cells more, and I can certainly use that. When we go urban, I'm hoping for more variety -- white, black, purple, green, foreign nationals, gay, straight, young, old, artsy, professional, whatever. Makes life more fun.

- I want to walk. In the city, we can park the cars and walk to almost everything. We're moving to a part of downtown that has walking access to shops, cafes, an art cinema, Starbucks, the gym, the grocery store, church and the bike trail. I may never drive again! And if I do, it'll be on the Vespa, zooming in and out of local traffic.

- Easy shut down. Since we spend half of our time in Florida, it will be so much easier to shut down a townhouse and leave it for a month vs. a house.

- Changing styles. I've been wanting to change my interior decore to a more transitional/contemporary style, and this gives me a great chance to do it. I'll send things that don't work in that genre to the consignment store and replace them with that clean-lined, modern look (think Barbara Barry) Yippee! My hubby always complains when I want to "refurnish" but then approves highly when it's finally done.

In searching for the right property, I've come to realize how relatively inexpensive it is to buy housing here. A nice townhouse in the trendy part of town can go for about $200-$300 a square foot. I just read in the London Times that prices per square foot in London are in the $3000 per square foot range. That's more than Manhattan...and Palm Beach.

For my British friends out there....how can anyone afford to buy a home there? Ouch! At London prices, my new townhouse would have cost around $8M dollars. Ha! That would mean me = renter for life.

De-Parted

I saw "The Departed" earlier this evening. I was surprised I could still find it at the theatre, but with it being Oscar-nominated and all, I guess it's still around.

I must say that I was fairly disappointed. I was unusually bored during the first 30 minutes and actually contemplated taking a nap while my husband continued to watch. About that time, it started to pick up and seemed to get better as it went along, but the initial realization of pure boredom overshadowed my thoughts about the rest of the film. It's been a long time since I actually thought about sleeping through a flick. That says something right there.

While Jack Nicholson is always good, I found Matt Damon to be...well...Matt Damon. He always plays Matt Damon, no matter what role he's in. I see no depth of character in this actor, no matter the role. Big yawn. And his teeth are always way too white and straight for some of the characters we are supposed to believe he is. Not buying it.

The presence of Alec Baldwin in a smaller role was actually a distraction. I like watching Alec Baldwin....can't stand his politics but he's learned to put a lid on it publicly since it was killing his career..... Anyway, he's just so darned dry and funny that to put him in any role that requires seriousness is just distracting. Every time he came on screen, I chuckled, even when I wasn't supposed to. And it wasn't just me....other people in the theatre laughed, too. Maybe he was intended as some form of comic relief, but I found that to be a distraction to what was going on in the film otherwise.

For the first time I saw promise in DiCaprio is an actor. He nailed this one. Previously, he was just Leo playing another mediocre part. But he seemed to morph into this role a bit, something Damon can't figure out how to do.

Another surprising distraction was the soundtrack. At times, it was awesome. 'Gimme Shelter' by the Stones is one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever, and it can really set a mood in a movie scene. It started to here, and just about the time the music seduced me into the scene, they stopped it. Cold. And I was distracted by the awareness that the music was suddenly gone. It was very odd the way that happened 4 or 5 times during the film. And some of the music seemed forced, unlike the tunes used in another gangster film, "Goodfellas" (awesome).

Finally, the worst part of it was the it felt like the movie just ended because it hit a time threshold or something. It was over, and there were still several story lines left dangling. We never found out what was in the envelope, who the baby belonged to, etc. The flick just stopped. I was disappointed in that.

For a Scorsese film, it just didn't seem to cut it. I saw "Casino Royale" in the same theatre and couldn't help but think about how much more totally entertained I was during that film vs. this one. And which one got an Oscar nomination? Go figure.

A Beautiful Trainwreck

I was never a fan of Anna Nicole Smith....I mean, who could be....the woman's life was a trainwreck. But I find her death -- and more so her life - a real tragedy all the way around. A tragedy for her, her family and for society in general, as this woman's life (and death) seemed to bring out the worst in society, the real underbelly of it all -- from the trash media who exploited her (and rewarded her for exploiting herself) to people who could not look away from the train wreck. There was simply nothing in the atmosphere surrounding ANS that was good or uplifting for society. And that's the real tragedy.

Pinhead Pity

It happened to me again today. Someone asked me if I had kids, and I said no.

Their response? "Oh, I'm sorry."

Me: "Why are you sorry? It was my choice."

Them: "Really? But why?"

Me: "To thoroughly confuse small-minded pinheads like you." (well, that's not what I said...but it's what I was thinking....)

Heidi Ho

Just returned from the gym where I was perusing some fashion magazine designed to make me feel totally inadequate.....and I noticed a disturbing report.

It seems they surveyed women and asked them this question:

"Would you rather have Heidi Klum's body and die at age 40, or have a fairly unattractive figure but live to be 100?"

Something like 70% of the survey respondents said they'd rather be Heidi and kiss it all off at 40.

Isn't that awful? It's come to this?

I'm not sure who the respondents were, what age group, etc., but based on the mag, I would expect the readers to be in their 20s-30s. It's alarming to hear a result like that from anyone, but particularly this age group. You'd think they'd know better, being not really all that far away from 40 themselves (whether they realize it or not).

The irony is that I was reading this article while pumping hard on a stair climber, apparently trying to get Heidi Klum's body....however, already being 40-ish, I'm not quite ready to kick the bucket and sign off for good.

How would you answer that survey question?

Editorial site note: As hot as I thought Olivier Martinez was in "Unfaithful", I've had to move him from my MMMMM list to the Penalty Box. While this may only be temporary, I felt I needed to move him given all the kerfluffle surrounding his breakup with Kylie as of late. It appears that he hasn't been a very honorable fellow in all of that, but it could just be rumor. Still, better to be safe...so off he goes to the Penalty Box.

The Higher The Hair, the Closer to God...I guess....

I'm always amazed when I see walking cliches.

I was out and about today and popped into Northpark mall to pick up an item where I happened to notice a strange overabundance of women (not girls...women) who seem to have reprised that old cliche "Dallas" look that I thought was dead and gone. I'm talking BIG HAIR.

I really mean HUGE HAIR. And not even fashionably so... as in some French hairdresser du jour "reinvented" it for the catwalk this year and all the young girls are trying to wear it. No, sir. I'm talking big, teased, curled, fluffed, pumped, sprayed, channeling late 1960s (not even 70s) HUGE hair. On purpose. You could tell that far too much work had gone into getting these mops to perform like this to be just an accident. This hair was planned. These ladies had full intent when they went at it. Big Hair like that doesn't just happen.

And there weren't just a few. It was like a convention of big hair, a Hair Club for Women, Return of the Hair Monsters....lots of them. In droves.

I couldn't help but wonder: Where did THAT come from?

The name is Hanks, Tom Hanks..

This is pretty funny...as long as they keep him away from the little blue swim trunks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wOcQr-2-pE

Becks and the Liverpool Texans

It's almost Super Bowl weekend, and I have paid zero attention to the whole thing. Usually, I gear up for the big game, but this year my football season ended when the Dallas Cowboys lost their playoff game to Seattle at the last second. What a heartbreak that was. Ever since, I haven't been able to get pumped about any of it.

I did read today that the owner of the Texas Rangers and Dallas Stars is purchasing half of the Liverpool Football Club. While this seems odd for a North American sports franchise owner, I can't help but think he is riding a forthcoming wave. Soccer has never been a huge spectator sport in the U.S. (there are lots of soccer kids and soccer moms, but not much attention on a pro level), but with Beckham coming to L.A. shortly, soccer could start to rock in the U.S.

More snow today.....and more forecast for tomorrow. It only takes a half inch to "snow in" the city, and with tomorrow being a Friday, it'll be a great excuse for nobody to go to work. I'm always amazed how the snow can prevent people from driving to work, but somehow they manage to make it to the mall. Go figure.

Time left until Florida, sunshine and palm trees: 14 days and counting. Brrrr!!!!