Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Eat Crow, Sheryl

Enough already.

Unless you are an educated, experienced fully qualified practicing scientist who is a trained expert in this field....then shut the F* up!

I am so sick of celebrities spouting their "global warming" expertise to all of us mere mortals out here (aka 'the little abusers'), I'm ready to emit more than just some excess carbon. Geez!

The latest? Reknowned global warming expert and celebrated scientific environmental genius Sheryl Crow is now instructing us to 'wipe' with a single square of toilet tissue when nature calls. Apparently, we can save the entire planet and all of mankind if we just learn to squeeze the Charmin one little square at a time. She's proposing a 'limitation on how many squares of toilet tissue can be used in any one sitting'.

Oh this is choice! I can just imagine the enforcement phase of that. You're in a stall, doing your business and uniformed 'tissue patrol' enters to inform you that you've exceeded your one square limit. "Sorry, m'aam. You'll just have to do the drip-dry dance now. Oh, and don't think of wiping with the citation I'm about to issue you either. Carry on, learn to wipe efficiently next time, and thanks for saving the planet. We owe you one."

Well, hey, Sheryl, go ahead. Ration the tissue. Heck, re-use it if you can figure out how to do that. But at my house, I don't think this is how we're going to be saving makind. Not in my lifetime, anyway.

By the way, this morning I read about how Sheryl Crow 'saves the planet' each day on her very important concert tour across the country....she only needs three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars for entourage when she performs. Oh, and apparently, only one square of toilet paper.

Time to eat some crow, Sheryl.

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