No Joy

It's less than 10 days before Christmas, but at my house, it may as well be a thousand days away. We're just not in the spirit.

It's been a high stress year, one I'd like to forget come Jan 1, 2008, and the stressful events have taken their toll. Christmas feels almost like a nuisance this year. It's going on all around us, but I can't get into it. Not this year.

I've taken care of some obligatory gifts so I could check off the box that says 'I didn't forget', but there was no real joy involved. In fact, I'm having trouble finding joy in most everything right now. And that's so sad, because I can usually find it, no matter how bad things seem. This year, it's almost an impossible task.

I won't be sending cards, won't be attending parties, won't be celebrating the season much at all. In fact, this year, I'd just like to curl up in a ball and hide out until it's all over. It's even difficult to bolster the enthusiasm for a hearty 'Bah Humbug'. I just want it to all be over soon.

I sincerely hope the rest of you have a wonderful holiday season.

It's Only Natural....Unfortunately

My husband and I have some good friends (a couple) who are really into the 'natural' living thing. After having been perfectly healthy for 50+ years, for whatever reason, they've decided that somehow their lives will be immensely improved if they purge all chemicals from it. And that's what they're doing.

While I'm all for simple living and do a bit of the organic food thing myself, I'm able to keep perspective on it. I pick and choose what seems to have value as 'organic' rather than paying overblown prices for things where it likely doesn't matter.

My friends, however, have gone overboard with it. At this point, they will only eat 'organic', will only shop 'organic' and even take food to other people's homes when invited as guests, so they can eat 'organic' while there. (They do so under the guise of 'bringing the hostess an organic food basket gift', but ultimately, it is their way of showing up with their own groceries so as not to be subject to the "lesser foods" offered by the nutritionally uneducated.). Downright rude, I say...but maybe that's just me.

At any rate, I used to have them over for dinner quite a bit but am now paranoid to make anything for them, so dinner parties at my house have evaporated. I began to tire of telling them what was on the menu, only to have them show up with 'organic' ingredients and show me a 'new' way to make it. Read: 'You are a nutritional dolt, and we can't eat the crap you are preparing.' No thanks.

Their latest foray into 'natural living' now extends to hygiene products. While I believe things like deodorant and soap are examples of better living through chemistry, they have started to reject all hygiene products with those pesky chemicals in them, and that includes deodorant, which is now introducing a new issue: They stink.

Okay, THEY don't stink. HE does. And not all the time, but enough of the time to get noticed. In fact, he's become a little 'gamey', ever since he started using 'crystals' to deodorize himself rather than good ole chemistry-laden deodorant like the rest of us. Even worse is the fact that he brings all this up in conversation, extolling the virtues of these crystals and how fabulous it is to now be deodrant-free, as we sit listening, eyes watering, trying not to inhale too deeply. (Well, that's a bit overblown, but you get the picture.) And what can one do but sit there, smile and politely nod?

So now, I don't know what to do. They're the nicest people and great friends, and I've been willing to deal with this 'organic lifestyle' thing, as nutty as they can be about it....but I may have to start drawing the line when it comes to personal hygiene. Surely, the Mrs. will notice sooner or later and will remedy the situation.

Bring on the chemicals, I say.

'Tis Better to...

It's time. Let the Christmas shopping begin. For other people, that is.

This year, we (my husband and I) have decided not to buy Christmas gifts...at least for each other. We'll take care of his daughter and our parents as usual, but this year, we plan to skip buying each other gifts.

Why? Several reasons, but one is that we'd rather do something else with the money. Rather than rack our brains trying to figure out what to buy each other, when neither of us really needs anything, we've decided to make a special donation to a charity we learned about at church. No, it's not money for AIDS in Africa or one of those fashionably exotic foreign charities du jour. It's a charity organization here that helps every-day people get through life's every-day disasters. A helping hand for people like you and me, down on their luck, if only for the moment.

For example, last week at church, the leader of the organization reported that this past month, the group helped a single mother who had lost her job pay her rent while she looked for another. It had also helped pay some living expenses for an elderly Army veteran who was having temporary financial difficulty and had no family who could help.

These are the kind of people I really want to help. People who are out there trying really hard, but stumble a bit because life knocked them down for the moment. I want to help them get back up, to keep forging ahead. And I want to do that more than I want the latest handbag from Coach or the newest Apple gadget.

It takes so little to be an anonymous angel for someone down on their luck, and it can mean so very much. There but for the grace of God, go I.

This year, for us, it just feels better to try to make a difference in some small way. So that's what we're going to do.

Merry Christmas, all.

Thanksgiving Gratitude

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for so much. As many of you know, it has been a difficult year in many ways. Still, I believe difficult times can make us all the more humble and thankful for the blessings we do have. I happened upon this quote earlier this week and embraced it:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

My goal is to be consciously thankful each and every day for the blessings bestowed on me. It turns what we have into enough....that one line says so much to me.

Without gratitude, nothing good in the universe can come to you. I keep coming back to this thought over and over again. Something in it has resonated with me.

Things to Learn

Words more eloquent than my own, from Maya Angelou:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas
tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making
a life'."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Short Week

So far, this has been the longest "short week" of my life. Thursday is Thanksgiving, and noone is working after tomorrow. It should be a short week, but it feels already like it's gone on endlessly.

I had a test of patience today with an insecure sales guy and an office full of people who feel like they need to weigh in on everything, even if they know nothing about it. Suddenly, I found myself pulled into a meeting called by a lawyer and an administrative assistant to discuss sales strategy that the VP of Sales and I had already discussed and resolved. What? The lawyer and admin needed to weigh in on Sales Strategy? What? We couldn't get accounting or the receptionist to give us their opinions, too?

PALEEZ people. In my last job, I sold over $110M in business. I think I can handle this decision. Ugh! But I acted like a duck and just let it glide. I have other things to do, worse problems to think about. I refuse to let these little issues upset me.

But I'm glad it's a "short week" anyway. I'll be headed to Texas tomorrow for a few days of R&R, thankfully.

For Things That Weren't

Today, after church, I went into the Memorial Chapel, lit a candle and shed a few tears.

Tomorrow, Nov. 19th was my due date. It's the only due date I'll ever have, and it never actually came to be.

I struggled so hard with the shock of it all when it happened. And I knew this next week would be a difficult one. I've been dreading it for some time.

But today, I lit a candle for my little angel in heaven, whomever he or she was. It was all so fleeting, and so many other problems have presented themselves since then....problems that would have made the arrival of a new baby so stressful. I guess God knows what He's doing.

Nevertheless, the experience changed me. I will never look at the tiny, perfect hands of an infant again, without thinking of what might have been.

I Demand a Recount

Matt Damon is the Sexiest Man Alive?

It's official. We've run out of men.

That's the only explanation I can think of.

Eastern Promises Delivers

Haven't seen a good flick in a while. Heck, I haven't seen anything in a while, so it was a treat the other night to break from the action and escape to the movies.

Walked down the street to the local art theatre (yeah...I've been waiting to do that....Urban life rocks!) to see the late showing of 'Eastern Promises'....an indie flick centered around the Russian mafia in London. Viggo Mortenson and Naomi Watts are perfectly cast and give great performances.

I don't know what it is about mafia flicks. I love them. I find them fascinating. Must be the whole power thing, watching it in action. In this one, I found myself covering my eyes with both hands no less than five times. The violence was gruesome, and I didn't want it registered on my hard drive forever. So I heard it, I didn't see it, and that was enough to get the point across.

I must say that Viggo delivers one of the most unforgettable and realistic fight scenes I've ever seen on film. Like watching a car wreck, it was simply awful, but you almost couldn't turn away from it. Not to mention that he's totally nude throughout the entire fight, and that makes it worth a good look-see. *winks* Definitely worth the price of a ticket.

I give this one 4 out of 5 popcorn kernels. *****

Smart Car?

Yesterday, I test drove a Smartcar.

They're headed to the U.S. in January 2008.

I'm not sure I want one. I'm not sure I don't.

I wouldn't want to give up my other car for it. But it could be a fun little car to run around town in. Great gas mileage. Easy to park. Roomy enough for two. A novelty, at least for a while. Always thought they were really cute in Europe. But maybe that's because we didn't have them here.

Dunno. I'll think about it.