Sunday, December 16, 2007

No Joy

It's less than 10 days before Christmas, but at my house, it may as well be a thousand days away. We're just not in the spirit.

It's been a high stress year, one I'd like to forget come Jan 1, 2008, and the stressful events have taken their toll. Christmas feels almost like a nuisance this year. It's going on all around us, but I can't get into it. Not this year.

I've taken care of some obligatory gifts so I could check off the box that says 'I didn't forget', but there was no real joy involved. In fact, I'm having trouble finding joy in most everything right now. And that's so sad, because I can usually find it, no matter how bad things seem. This year, it's almost an impossible task.

I won't be sending cards, won't be attending parties, won't be celebrating the season much at all. In fact, this year, I'd just like to curl up in a ball and hide out until it's all over. It's even difficult to bolster the enthusiasm for a hearty 'Bah Humbug'. I just want it to all be over soon.

I sincerely hope the rest of you have a wonderful holiday season.


SandDancer said...

Despite never actually having met you, you seem like one of the most positive people I know, so its sad to hear that you are feeling joyless. But I think there is something very difficult about Christmas and the enforced happiness that makes it harder for anyone not feeling too good.

Hope it passes quickly and that 2008 is a better year for you.

M said...

Thanks. Yes, I am a naturally positive person, so I feel something is wrong right now. This year has delivered its lumps, that's for sure. But I think my hormones are running amuck at the moment, and it's causing anxiety and depression. Top that off with the holidays and other stressers, and it's hard to find the joy in anything. I'm feeling closed in and anti-social, and that's not really me.

The naturally positive side of me says 'this too shall pass'. And I'll get on with life, but I feel like crap in the meanwhile.

Miss Forthright said...

So sorry you're feeling this way M. As Sanddancer said, you come across as such a positive person, so I'm extra sorry to hear you sounding so glum. Big hugs to you xxx

P.S I know what you mean about not being in the mood for Christmas, this is the first one in four eyars where I actually feel part of it. I really know how you feel right now and I hope it passes soon.

M said...

You know what? I've just done some reading up....I think the feelings I'm having may be a result of the new bc pills my gyno put me on. Others are reporting anxiety, depression, jitters, etc., and that's what I've been having lately. I'm going to stop taking them and see how I feel. This might be an easy fix!