Sunday, November 18, 2007

For Things That Weren't

Today, after church, I went into the Memorial Chapel, lit a candle and shed a few tears.

Tomorrow, Nov. 19th was my due date. It's the only due date I'll ever have, and it never actually came to be.

I struggled so hard with the shock of it all when it happened. And I knew this next week would be a difficult one. I've been dreading it for some time.

But today, I lit a candle for my little angel in heaven, whomever he or she was. It was all so fleeting, and so many other problems have presented themselves since then....problems that would have made the arrival of a new baby so stressful. I guess God knows what He's doing.

Nevertheless, the experience changed me. I will never look at the tiny, perfect hands of an infant again, without thinking of what might have been.


SandDancer said...

Thinking of you today but know you will find the strength to get through this hardest of days.

M said...

Thank you so much. Your kind words help considerably.

Miss Forthright said...

Big hugs M. Am sending love to you. x

M said...

Thanks, Miss F. Much appreciated.

This year has been one I'd like to forget, for the most part. But your kind words do help so much.