Another One, already?

It's almost here again. The annual turning of the page. The age page. And boy don't I hate that now.

I'm beginning to wade into numbers I really don't like -- and I mean knee deep into them, solidly in the mix. I am too old to be cool and too young to be old. I'm in nowhere's land, and it's not like I can get excited about the numbers ahead of me either.

Yikes. I realize it's better than the alternative, but PALEEZ, somebody slow down the calendar.

Again!

Again, I did it again. It's been more than a month since I've been out here posting. Does that tell you what life has been like lately? A complete blurrrrr. I can't believe it's almost April.

Lots has happened since. In a nutshell, the terrible, horrible situation that I wouldn't wish on anyone -- the one that's been going on for almost 3 years -- has finally ended for us. It did not end perfectly, but it ended in a way that was the least onerous for us, and it ended much better than it usually does for people. So I am grateful, very grateful. I feel that God has truly answered prayers. Finally, we can get on with our lives....but not before becoming a bit of a puddle for even just a few minutes. An emotional puddle, an angry one, an elated one, a giddy one, a confused one. Still working through it and trying to pick up and move on. This situation was completely surreal, and I couldn't even believe it actually happened to us. I feel like I've just awakened from a long and harrowing nightmare, and it's going to take me a while to completely wake up and shake it off.

In other dimensions of life, work has been incredibly busy. And I feel another change coming on. Just feels like something's in the air at work. I may be up for a position which could move me to New York City, and I'm terribly excited about that. I've always wanted to live in Gotham, for even just a small while. It's a long shot -- I'm not sure I'm well qualified for the role, but if someone is going to consider me for it, I'm sure as heck going to put on the dog and act like it. The sheer excitement of going to work on Manhattan's 5th Ave is enough to get me motivated. I'm just pumped at the thought of it.

I'm at the Florida house right now - have been here for almost two months. Next week, we go back to Dallas for a couple of weeks. Hate to leave here, as the weather is turning so nice, and I hear there may be more snow in Dallas next week. It just won't stop this year, and I don't want to go there until Spring has definitely sprung.

On the health front, it's been about 10 weeks since my surgery. I'm feeling much better, very much recovered. The anemia is now gone, and my energy is back, and I feel like my old self again, full of zip. Amazing what having enough blood in the system can do for you. I feel like a whole new woman. And knowing I no longer have to face the monthly monster gives me such peace of mind. I can forget about all that now and do whatever I want. Freedom, indeed.

Time Flies

OMG - has it been over a month since I posted something? I think that's probably a record for this blog. My goodness, time has flown. It sailed past the holidays, through January and now into February, almost to Valentines Day, and I haven't had time to post nary a word.

In a nutshell, work has been demanding, recovery from surgery has been ongoing, there's been travel to the Florida house and back, soon to return again. We've had snow again, rain, even a tornado nearby. And mostly, I'm amazed at how quickly the year has gone so far.

It's like a blurr....

Salute!

It will be a slightly different New Year's Eve this year. I'll be spending it recovering from surgery.

As I prepare to lose an organ -- one that's been with me for years, one that was highly valued but underutilized -- I am reflecting on moving into the rest of my life without it. Will I miss it?

I'm banking on 'no'. At my age, I really have no use for a uterus. It did not produce children, will not now produce children and would only be there for the downside now -- all the things that can go wrong with an aging organ.

Still, I'd like to offer a salute to my uterus -- it's been good to me up until these last few years. I could still keep it -- it's my choice, although the doctor recommends removing it. It's just that I simply can't find a good reason to preserve it. Even after removal of the tumor, there can still be issues that hamper my life -- another fibroid, continued bleeding, etc.. So with nothing but downside ahead of me, I've elected to have it removed. Oh, I'll still have my ovaries and all, which is the really important part at this point....but now, I'll never have to suffer through another menstrual cycle again. I'd really like to find a way to be sentimental about that, but I just can't. Thinking about that makes we want to celebrate. I never want to see a maxi pad again as long as I live. I will feel no tug at my heartstrings (or abdomen) as I bypass the feminine protection aisle at the grocery store. None at all.

So as I leave my uterus in 2009 and move into 2010 without it, I don't really have any regrets. I don't regret not using it to have children (I'm still not really a kid person and have probably saved some child a load of childhood misery). Up until recently, it was pretty good to me period after period after period. So I must say 'thanks' to my uterus and give it a big salute as I go off into the wild blue yonder without it. Cheers!

Merry Christmas from the Passenger Seat

Merry Christmas all!

What was seemingly going to be an unspecial Christmas has turned out to be anything but. All things came together to make it a wonderful holiday.

We had planned to spend a tropical Christmas in Florida, but my medical issue kept me close to the doctor in Dallas, waiting on my surgery date. We weren't looking forward to being here but as it turned out, we were in the right place at the right time.

Why? Magic! Brought to us by Mother Nature. We had a white Christmas, something we would have missed if we'd gone to Florida. It snowed all day yesterday, and this morning, there's a beautiful clear blue sky with the sun glistening on the white frosting on the ground. This is so unusual for us. What a sight!

And because of the freak snowstorm, lots of people were stranded and kept from their original travel plans. Today, we are welcoming guests for Christmas dinner that wouldn't normally be here with us today.

So sometimes the best things that happen to you are unplanned. It's nice to sit back in the passenger seat and just enjoy the ride.

Merry Christmas all!

Modern & Morally Centered

We live in interesting political times. Both of the major U.S. political parties are working hard to 'size up' the electorate in the post-Obama election period. The latest identified voting group? 'Whole Foods Republicans (& Independents)'. Apparently, existence of this group is news to someone. I find that humorous, because I am a member of this group, and I have been out here voting for a while now.

We seem to have them perplexed. They can't imagine that a progressive lifestyle can fit with conservatism....(say it ain't so)....but this is what they are finding in many of us out here. We are college educated, live in urban areas in modern spaces, walk more places than we drive, and like to shop at Whole Foods Market (that bastion of liberal granola heads). We enjoy diversity, would never tell a racial or homophobic joke, and have friends and colleagues from a spectrum of backgrounds.

And we vote conservatively.

WHAT?

Yep, it's true. We rely on logic (not emotion) and were raised with solid conservative values. Many of us, despite our 'modern and trendy' lifestyle, actually go to church (oh my!) and enjoy a level of spirituality as we live 'progressively'. Imagine that!

We are independent-minded, believe in free markets and limited government, love God and country, respect our military....all the while buying our tofu, gluten-free goods and organic dairy products at the local Whole Foods Market. And we may have ridden there on our bicycles. Puzzling, isn't it?

Another shocker? Most of us like Sarah Palin. A lot. Can you believe it?

I laugh at all the kerfuffle over this 'new group' because there are a ton of us out here, and we've been here for a very long time. They just didn't see us, and they couldn't imagine such an animal. That combination couldn't possibly exist! Yet it does, and in droves. A high percentage of the people I know would fall into this category. We're educated, we're modern, we're progressive and we've retained our moral bearings. Not a bad combination if you ask me.

Nice to finally get the spotlight. And about time.

All I Want for Christmas is a Laparoscopic Myomectomy

While I won't withdraw my concerns noted in an earlier posting regarding soy milk, I feel that I must update this blog with the latest on my 'situation'. I have been diagnosed with a large fibroid tumor in my uterus, and this, not the soy milk, is what is causing my cycles to go wild.

Now, again, I do plan to avoid soy, as the studies I've read have been alarming. But, alas, when I couldn't straighten things out, I went back to my ObGyn for another exam. An ultrasound revealed a sizeable fibroid tumor in my uterus, and it must come out.

My doctor and I first saw the fibroid on a sonogram when I had my ill-fated pregnancy a couple of years ago now. It was very small and not bothersome at the time, but apparently it's grown since then and is now causing issues.

I've studied up on fibroids since getting the news. While they are a real bother to about 25% of the female population in their 30s and 40s, the truth is that most women develop fibroids at those ages -- it's just that they remain small and unnoticed in the majority of the population. Only the lucky few of us have an issue with them. Unfortunately, I am one of those who do.

And although fibroids are noted as a tumor, they are almost never cancerous, and I am hoping that my luck holds on the statistics quoted. No one really knows what causes them or what causes them to grow in some people and not others. But they do, and when they start to wreak havoc, they must be dealt with. I'm opting for a laparoscopic myomectomy -- which basically means I'm having it taken out...as opposed to more radical surgery, like a hysterectomy. I just hope the specialist affirms my choice.

Now, I'd like for this to come out of me sooner rather than later because it is causing havoc with my life and my health. But, I can't seem to get in to see the specialist right away, so here I sit, waiting two more weeks before I can see a reproductive endocrinologist. And I can only imagine that it will be at least another few more weeks beyond that until the surgery can be done. I now have visions of spending my Christmas holidays in the hospital.

This is quite unfun and fairly uncomfortable, but I don't seem to have much of a choice in the matter.

So ultimately, I must apologize to soy milk...somewhat....but I will continue to avoid you in my diet. Regardless.

Welcome Home

Experience a little joy today by watching a few of these video clips......

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/40324

Kardashians Beat Draper

How can it be?

A million more people tuned in to watch Khloe Kardashian marry her future ex-husband than tuned in to watch the season finale of 'Mad Men'.

WHAT is WRONG with you people?

I consistently stay hugely disappointed in the general public.

No More Soy

I've just spent the worst month of my life having 'female' problems, and it's not over yet. Ugh. Not only is it the physical issue, the stress and emotional angst along the way are significant. I'm exhausted.

My mind has been everywhere on this. Is it fibroids? Cancer? What? I'm working with my doctor to try to resolve it via medication vs. something more invasive. Turns out that we think it's a hormone imbalance, and yes, all of a sudden...out of the blue.

What could cause such a thing...out of the blue? Believe it or not - SOY MILK. I've just read the dangers of soy milk and the most noted issue with it is that it contains estrogen, which mimicks human hormones in the system and can throw a woman's cycles way off balance. How did I track this down? About a month ago, I started drinking two glasses of soy milk a day with a vitamin supplement in it. I stopped because it was upsetting my digestion. Then a week later, all this started. This is after 30 years of relatively healthy female cycles. BOOM. Suddenly, my hormones are out of whack.

A friend tells me that her gynecologist told her not to drink soy milk because she did not want her sensitve hormone balance to become impaired. Seems like a long shot, but it looks like that's exactly what happened to mine.

So here's a warning from someone who's been there - if you find yourself having PMS, mid-cycle bleeding, cramps or other issues, stop drinking the soy. Put it down and walk away from it. But don't listen only to me -- Google it -- articles on 'the dangers of soy' bring up some distressing information. I can't believe this isn't more widely known by the world. Where is the FDA on this?

And reading beyond my own problems, studies are suggesting that infants who drink soy-based milk are at risk -- baby girls are getting as much estrogen hormone from a soy diet as 10 birth control pills! And we wonder why our daughters are growing breasts and starting periods by age 9 or 10. It's the hormones, stupid!

I only hope I can get this back into balance soon. And I will never, ever touch a drop of soy milk ever again.