Saturday, August 1, 2009

Unhappy Anniversary

Today is the 2-yr anniversary of the terrible thing that happened to us. We're moving into Year 3 of it now.

Without going into what it is, I cannot tell you the angst that it causes in your life. Everything stops. Everything stands still. It all goes on hold until it's over. And you don't know when it's going to be over. So for two years, now beginning three, we cannot plan a thing in our lives. We've simply been living day to day without the ability to move forward on anything. Can't plan a vacation, a purchase, a job change, nothing. Can't look forward over the horizon to imagine what my life will be like in 5 years. Can't be aggressive, can't invest, can't do anything. We have to sit here in silence and suffer through it, and who knows for how long.

Life has handed us something that most people never have to go through. I am finding out things that I never thought were possible. And you'd never believe it, if I tried to tell you. You'd have to go through it yourself to really believe the things they can do to you. My whole view of the world has been skewed. It's the ultimate nightmare, a bad movie indeed.

At the end of all this (whenever that is), I'm tempted to write a book. But probably not, because mostly, I just want to move on and forget about it. The real hell is the process. The process alone ruins your life.

2 comments:

Girl With The Golden Touch said...

Oh M. I'm really intrigued as to what it is that is so terrible and I really feel for you and your husband. I hope you are OK and that this ends as soon as it can for you both.

x

M said...

Thanks GWTGT. Your kind wishes are appreciated. Maybe I will write more detail about this when it is over. It's really a terrible situation.