Saturday, April 18, 2009

Finding My Z-Spot

At my house, we have been going through one of the most horrendous ordeals of our lives. Eighteen months of purgatory, culminating in 10 weeks of pure hell. We're in the middle of the pure hell part right now. It doesn't matter what it is; suffice it to say it's been brutal and completely unnecessary and a waste of time and resources. I never want to go through it again and should have never had to go through it this time, but I must've drawn the unlucky straw. Rather, my husband drew the unlucky straw, and I have stood here by his side to share in the lashings. No big heroine scene....I think that's just what wives are supposed to do.

Anyway, if we have any money (or sanity) left at the end of the pure hell portion of this misadventure, we need to get away and take a break from the world. Need to go somewhere to heal body, mind and spirit, because it's all been beaten to a pulp over the last two years. Need to go somewhere to do some healing, some recharging of the batteries, some clearing of the mind and heart.

I think only you can define whatever that Zen place is for yourself. I've been looking at vacation package ads that push serene beaches, trips to the mountains, desert paradises. All of that is great...for somebody....but I really need to dig deep to find what refreshes my own soul, hits my own Z-spot. Where do I go to in my mind for calm, for cool waters, for my nirvana?

I've been so stressed these last two years, I'm not sure I can trust myself to choose. It's hard to throw on the brakes against the insanity that's been going on to think clearly about scheduling a nurturing event. I may have to let the shock of things wear off for a while, get some perspective back and then find a little corner of the world to run away to.


Feet In The Earth said...

Hi M, I'm in exactly the same place as you with regards needing some peace of mind and sanctuary.

To do it I've made some big changes, and I've found that spending a lot of time thinking, reading and sitting in the sun helps, but as you rightly say, everybody has to find their own way to it.

Not sure if you've read Eat, Pray, Love (I'm sure you probably have), but I found it a brilliant companion for the journey.

N xxx

M said...

Thanks N.

Finding sanctuary will prove to be tough for me, as I have to continue a 50-60 hour work week while trying to deal with the other issue (and maintain my sanity). I also have 5 employees who work for me, which is probably worse than having least when you're feeling like you want to get away from it all.

So I will have to keep all the balls in the air until the ordeal is over with, then try to find some downtime somehow. I just pray for strength, wisdom and continued ability to tap into my sense of humor and resourcefulness.

Yes, I have read 'Eat, Pray, Love'. In fact, I believe I recommended it to you on your last blog! So glad you found it as uplifting as I did. I hear it may now be made into a movie.

Cheers! M

Feet In The Earth said...

Ah it was YOU who recommended it, hahaha. Sorry. I have a terrible memory.

Oh my, a 50-60 hour week is tough, honey. I'm thinking of you. You're a tough cookie but I know how it feels when you just want to drop all the balls and take some time out.

Maybe try doing something like yoga, pilates or meditation at weekends? Or creating a little sanctuary at home, like a corner of the garden or the bath tub?


Anonymous said...

Sorry you've been having such a bad time of it recently...having somewhere to just chill out, recharge and forget about the present is important and as you say everyone has to find their own place to do your instinct as to where to go and what to do, deep down you know what you need...

My escape is the swimming pool - I love tiring myself out pushing through the water and thinking about nothing except getting to the other side then when I get knackered floating about looking at the ceiling - works every time..

i also read 'eat pray love' after you recommended it - loved it!

take care

M said...

Thanks for the tips, all. I do think sanctuary is a state of mind, not necessarily a place...and you can find it in the swimming pool, your garden, a bath tub, even a good book. I just have to figure out where mine is and then find the time to incorporate it.

And I want some real meat in it, too, not something that makes for good copy in a marketing brochure. I need something that packs a concentrated Zen punch.

All this talk of 'Eat, Pray, Love' puts me in the mind to read it again. When she found passion for life and peace of mind in Italy, I also found it through her. Italy has always been my geographical Zen, and sometimes just mentally going there soothes my Z-spot. The music, the art, the food, the language and lifestyle...

Perhaps I will put on an Andrea Bocelli CD and re-read that section of the book...thanks again for your responses.

M said...

ah...also, the movie that registered on the Zen scale for me was 'Under the Tuscan Sun'. It wasn't really the greatest of stories, but her total self-immersion into the Italian lifestyle so resonated with me. The Tuscan landscape and the scenes shot on the Amalfi coast were simply breathtaking. I may have to go buy that DVD and go to Italy (mentally) again soon. I do so love the imagery of all that. *sigh*

It wasn't long after that movie that I spent a bit more time in Italy and then returned and added a new Vespa scooter to the family. I do so love riding around on that scooter and feeling so very Italian. There it is! Yet another personalized Z-spot!

Feet In The Earth said...

Oooh I haven't seen that film. Sounds lovely. I'll check it out.