Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Don't Like People

I've only just recently come to realize this. I'm very dimissive of people...I always have been, and I don't know why. I think they disappoint me, and when that happens, I mentally dismiss them. Oh, I still socialize with many of them, for the most part. I don't think they know they've been dismissed. But I don't put myself out there. I don't invest in them, I don't plant roots there.

I can see this with people all through my life, past and present, including some family members.

This is not the way to be. And it's probably my biggest flaw. I really need to work on this, but first, I'd like to understand why I am this way. Why am I so stand-off-ish? Why am I so selective about who I 'let in', about who I view as having real credibility? Unconsciously, I seem to find something wrong with most everyone. Perhaps I have intimacy issues. Perhaps I am afraid to let them know me.

I really don't know the answer to this.

1 comment:

SandDancer said...

I'm like this too, but I'm even harsher on myself.