Postcards from Hell

Palm Springs, California.

Desert oasis.

111 degrees fahrenheit today.


This must be what hell feels like.

I don't think I have any eyelashes left.

A Rare Jewel

And let's not forget about her.

An extraordinarily beautiful and charming Texas girl, she was from my home town. We all wore our hair like hers for years, too many years, but they were some of the best hair years of my life.

She seems a bit overlooked today, unfortunately upstaged by the death of Jacko on the same day. But she won't be forgotten. That sort of rare beauty doesn't come along very often. She's someone you just wanted to stare at, no matter your gender. And even as she aged, she didn't really lose the sparkle. She was a rare jewel, the likes of which we don't see often enough.

We knew her until she was 62 years old. But the photo above is how we think of her, circa 1976, no matter how old she got. That's pretty hard for a public figure to pull off, to freeze herself in time, even as she aged before us, but she did it.

Well done, Farrah. Another big-haired Texas girls salutes you.

Inevitable

Off the Wall.

Thriller.

That is how I prefer to remember him.

If only he'd bowed out of the spotlight after that.

Didn't we all know it would end this way? It just had to, didn't it?

Day Tripper

Day-tripper, yeah.

Or so it feels that way.

San Diego, Dallas, Chicago, Dallas and San Diego again.

I've spent much of the last week on a jet, going somewhere.

Tonight, I'll end up back in San Diego, which is the preferred city out of the list noted above.

Dallas is too hot right now. 103 degrees yesterday.

Chicago is never where I want to be. Some people love that city, but I have yet to find anything that makes me pine away to go there.

And San Diego....ah San Diego. Lovely city, unpleasant business. Still, the weather is divine, temperatures are topping out at 73 degrees, I am walking distance to the marina and some of the most fabulous sites. The unpleasantries are on their way to concluding, hopefully in the next week or two. And Fourth of July weekend is forthcoming. I'd rather spend it in lovely San Diego than in many places I could think of. So unpleasantries, bleh. I'll try not to let them spoil my stay.

I can hardly wait to go back to having regular problems again, the same problems other people have instead of this albatross that was put around our necks almost two years ago. It weighs heavy. And I'm done with it.

California Dreaming

I find myself once again in California. San Diego to be exact. Lovely city, just lovely. But I am here on some unpleasant business, so it's not all goodness.

Outside of business, however, I have managed to find some good things. The city is fabulous, people are friendly, the weather is divine. So if you have to be some place for something unpleasant, there are definitely worse places to be.

Yesterday, I found time to go to the world famous San Diego Zoo. It's an endless maze of rainforest and jungle, birds and reptiles, lions and tigers and bears (oh my!). One could spend a couple of days there and enjoy every minute. Definitely worth it.

Today? An afternoon spent at the ballpark, an all-American day of baseball and hot dogs. We sat in the cheap seats, and the view from up there of the city of San Diego and the marina is worth the climb. San Diego Padres vs. the Oakland Athletics. Padres win! It was a great day to be at the ballpark -- during the 7th inning stretch, we all got up and sang "God Bless America", and it just felt darn good to be there. Next week, the Houston Astros are in town, and I will be back and in the cheap seats for that one, as well.

So despite the ugliness of the business I am here on, the charm of the city of San Diego has managed to make it all bearable for me. I believe it will be one of my very favorite cities going forward.

Taxi Driver @ 30+ years

I'd never seen this film. When it came out, I was a child, and I recall that it was seen then as so controversial, I've never really wanted to see it. I remember my parents disavowing it, saying it was lude and awful. But last night, it was on one of the movie channels. I have no idea why they'd be showing a movie in prime time that is more than 30 years old, but they were. So I thought I'd take my chance to watch it and see if it was really as controversial as people thought it was during the 70s.

And as I suspected, it was not. In fact, it was fascinating because it was almost like looking into a time capsule of sorts. The fact that it was thought to be so controversial then said something about the times we lived in then and the times we live in now. Certainly, the subject matter was disturbing - then and now- but I remember people decrying the level of violence in it then. And watching it now, that seems to pale in comparison to what we regularly find in today's films. The presence of a 12-yr old hooker still seems shocking and tragic even now, but the way it was handled in the film was so much milder than I had imagined it. I would guess if someone attempted to remake this film today, it would be much more graphic than it was 30 years ago. I won't suggest that is progress.

It makes one wonder about the evolution of culture -- films are so reflective of it. While people were outraged in the 70s over this movie, today it seems relatively mild in comparison. I don't think that's a good sign. I think it means that culture has de-volved. We've become numb and callous to violent acts, to sad human condition. It takes more and more to get our atteniton and shock us. That's not a good commentary at all.

Just Breathe

This is a very big, very stressful next couple of weeks at my house. Some days I can't even eat, I am so anxious. Sleep is almost out of the question. The weight of this thing is making it difficult to breathe. I yearn for the ability to just be a puddle, but I can't. I have go to work every day and function. There is no relief right now, no one to help, nothing to make it better. When the panic comes, all I can do is breathe and offer up a prayer. And no one knows.

Licence to Chill?

Love ya Daniel, but please, please tell me you did not endorse this. It's totally creeping me out.

*shutters*

Thoughts on Vegas....

I recently did a stint in Vegas at a technology conference. I hadn't been out there in a while, and there are always things that strike me about Vegas when I go there, so I thought I'd note a few of them here:

1. I always expect Vegas to be a bit more glamorous (okay, a lot more glamorous) than it turns out to be. Despite visions of people dressed to the nines at the craps tables (too many Bond movies, clearly) what I find is that the casinos are generally full of people who are overweight and underdressed. A constant disappointment and a very sad commentary on people in general. I am often embarrassed for the human race by the time I leave Vegas.

2. Something I would never utter myself, but clearly a significant amount of people in Vegas must say something like this: "Hey, honey -- How about we load up the toddlers and go to Vegas?" Because it never ceases to amaze me how many people are pushing baby carriages in and out of casinos there. Something about that just seems so wrong to me. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD A SITTER, STAY HOME. What the hell are you doing gambling your kids' college money, anyway?

3. As if there weren't enough pairs of bare (and nearly bare) breasts in Vegas, apparently people feel the need to bring their own. I have never seen so many amateur breasts on display in one place in my life. It's as if women just set them free once they get there.

4. There is no shortage of short, fat, hairy guys from New Jersey named Tony. Every casino fills their quota, especially at the swimming pool. Ick!

5. All casinos smell the same. I don't know what it is, but it must come in a can called 'Eau de Casino', and every single one of them uses it generously.

6. Every casino has managed to somehow cultivate the $15 hamburger. It doesn't appear to be any different than the $8 variety, but it must be, since they are able to get away with charging almost double for it.

7. In case you had your doubts, let me set you straight -- there is NOTHING that is not fake in Las Vegas. Check out the green, grassy medians along some of the boulevards as you wait in traffic. Ah, yes, they are blissfully green. Ah, yes, they are blissfully fake. In Las Vegas, even the grass is plastic.

8. Pay no attention to the hordes of Hispanic men who stand on the Strip and try to hand out hooker cards to your husband as you look on. They're just doing their job.

9. No matter how many times I go to Vegas, I never see Robert Redford at a craps table waiting to buy a night with me for a cool million. Not even once.

10. If you are approached by casino personnel who want to offer you a free stay in the penthouse on them.....this does not mean you are a high roller....it means you're betting too much and are losing a lot. Put your money back in your pocket and leave immediately.

Vegas is definitely a must see at least once in your life, maybe even a few times. But quite honestly, unless you are an uber gambler with piles o'money to burn, you only need about two days in the place. Any longer than that, and it could suck out your soul.

Memorial Day

Today, we celebrate Memorial Day, a time to stop and think about those who have given their lives so that ours may be better. These are men and women far better than I; people who felt a higher calling and sense of purpose; people who gave their all for the freedom of others. What greater gift is there, truly?

My family's roots go deep into this country. My mother's family has been here since before the Revolutionary War, my father's since about 1900 or so. Both families have offered their sons, brothers, fathers in the service of this country. We have had at least one family member in uniform during almost every war in U.S. History.

My mother's family joined the patriots and fought in our struggle for independence from England in the 1700s. Generations later, this same family had sons fighting in the Civil War -- on both sides actually. Cousins unknowingly fought against each other, each fighting for their own way of life. Still, generations later, both sides of my family had men in uniform during World War I, II, Korea and even Vietnam. Some rose to high levels in the U.S. military, recognized as leaders and heroes in service to their country.

So today, I salute all of them. No matter how politically unpopular a war may get, I am always reminded that we are forever in debt to those who step up and fight for freedom. It doesn't matter whether you agree with the reason they go -- fact is, they go, and they do their duty for all of us honorably.

It is truly the soldier and not the poet who has given us freedom of speech. It is because of those who kept watch during the darkness that the rest of us can peacefully sleep. We should never, ever forget that.

Thanks to my own family members and all other veterans who have served so honorably. Your sacrifices have not been forgotten.